Family therapist’s advice on family secrets

Evan Imber-Black has written a book titled The Secret Life of Families: Making Decisions About Secrets: When Keeping Secrets Can Harm You, When Keeping Secrets Can Heal You-And How to Know the Difference.  Amazon reviews it as follows: 

Secrets come in all shapes and sizes. And for families as well as individuals, they are built on a complex web of shifting motives and emotions. But today, when personal revelations are posted on the Internet or sensationalized on afternoon talk shows, we risk losing touch with how important secrets are–how they are used and abused, their power to harm and heal.

In this important work, Evan Imber-Black explores the nature of secrets, helping us understand:

The distinction between healthy privacy and toxic secrecy
What to tell–and not to tell–young children
How to safely confront a family “zone of silence”
Why adolescents need to have some secrets–and where to draw the line
The effect of “official” secrets, like sealed adoption records and medical testing
What to consider before revealing an important secret
And much more

Filled with moving first-person stories, The Secret Life of Families provides perspective on some of today’s most sensitive personal and social issues. Giving voice to our deepest fears and to our power to overcome them, this is a book that will be talked about for years to come.

The Farewell

A matriarch’s family returns to China under the guise of a fake wedding to stealthily say goodbye to their beloved matriarch — the only person that doesn’t know she only has a few weeks to live.
To see the trailer, click on the following link:  https://a24films.com/films/the-farewell
“The Farewell” pays delightful, insightful homage to the facades and pretenses nearly everyone adopts in the name of compassion.
Ann Hornaday
A funny, emotionally intricate and deeply moving tale of severed connections and renewed family ties.
Joe Morgenstern
Awkwafina has gone from rapper to comedic powerhouse, and now, most powerfully, to indie darling in “The Farewell.” It’s one of the year’s sweetest films.
Johnny Oleksinski
New York Post
This is a simple but genius film that sheds light on Chinese culture and philosophy while delivering a doozy of a paradigm shift.
Tara McNamara
Common Sense Media

 

 

Issues involved in caring for older parents

To read about some of the difficulties facing adults caring for aging parents, click on the following link:  https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/02/working-daughters-eldercare/459249/?utm_campaign=the-atlantic&utm_content=5d04c1c4e84fc20001cea707_ta&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR3he5D50WzCe7Ogu1LzMxJzpsRp3B_xqslgJjO_dXKXPZXpMoKsETxI6PU

It’s mostly about daughters but much of it applies to sons, as well.

Intergenerational housing that integrates individuals and families with and without disabilities – Rockville Town Center

For those who worry about adult children with disabilities who have “fallen off the cliff” (no longer in school, no more entitlements such as occupational therapy), intergenerational housing that integrates individuals and families with and without disabilities may be a solution.  For more information, click on the following link:  https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/rockville-parents-build-a-home-for-their-developmentally-disabled-kids/2019/02/12/d34e6c9a-2be3-11e9-b011-d8500644dc98_story.html?utm_term=.55ae1b1864d2