The many speakers at this conference explore:
- How living and dying are inseparable
- How to live in times of darkness and uncertainty
- What the different spiritual traditions teach about death
- How to share the sacred work of grief and loss
- Why we are living in a death-phobic culture
- The greater cosmological, planetary, and evolutionary cycles we are part of
- What we can learn from the recent pandemic and social justice crises
The conference is over but it has been recorded and, for $99 it can be viewed at:
Tam House, in Marin county, California, is one of many models for affordable senior living. To learn more about the model, click on the following link: http://tamhouse.org/
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As you’ve watched your parents get older, perhaps you have struggled with situations such as these:
- You’ve travelled to visit your mother for the holidays, and found her refrigerator nearly empty, her bills unpaid and her house in disarray.
- A neighbor has called you to report that your father was wandering in the street, unable to find the home he’s lived in for 30 years.
- Your mother has neglected to take her diabetes medications, severely compromising her health.
- Your very independent father fell and broke his hip, making it impossible to navigate the stairs in his home.
If there is a decline in cognitive abilities as a result of Alzheimer’s disease or a related dementia, or a shift in a medical condition that requires increased care, there is clear cause to be concerned about your parent’s welfare. It may be time to consider a move to a safer environment.
But where should he or she live? Often your first inclination is to move Mom or Dad into your home—but this major life change deserves thoughtful examination, and there are many alternatives to explore. This Fact Sheet offers advice and summarizes the issues to consider before making the important and challenging decisions regarding relocating your parent.
To see the Fact Sheet, click on the following link: https://www.caregiver.org/home-away-home-relocating-your-parents
As we progress through life, moving may signal new opportunities, a new relationship, a new adventure ahead. For an older adult this “new” opportunity may feel like a mixed blessing. On the positive side, a move may offer a sense of “lightening” to reduce the messy clutter of a family’s history, fewer home and yard chores and can help reduce feelings of isolation of living alone. More often, this relocation can be an unwelcome admission of frailty, loneliness, possible serious illness, and a loss of independence.
This tip sheet offers a handy guide to save time, energy and sleepless nights. Most importantly, the Checklist below provides a tool to help you organize your move and help it progress as smoothly as possible. Since every situation is different, select the areas that apply to you, and add your own notes in the spaces provided below.
If you are facing a crisis, such as moving a parent into an assisted care residence after a caregiving spouse dies, or into a nursing home after a devastating stroke, the process will be condensed and planning time will be minimal. This may be the most challenging experience of all. We encourage you to get as much help and support as you can from friends, family, religious communities and social service organizations. (For more information, see also FCA’s fact sheet
Click on the following link to access information about the checklist: https://www.caregiver.org/downsizing-home-checklist-caregivers
The Vital Living Network has compiled an online guide to inform older adults about the wide range of aging-support resources available in Montgomery County.
Many of the programs and services listed are free. Others involve fees of varying amounts. The Networker urges users not to assume that participating will be financially out of reach and suggests calling the organizations listed to discuss
costs. They note that faith-based organizations generally offer their services to all. To access the guide, click on the following link:
Ellyn Lem has surveyed over 200 people 65 and older and reported the results in her book, Gray Matters: Finding Meaning in the Stories of Later Life. She found that people over 65, for the most part, are handling the coronavirus pandemic well. Though they did acknowledge health concerns, caretaking responsibilities, and some loneliness, almost all “described their ‘general mood most days’ in upbeat terms.” Lem finds this to be consistent with existing research findings that most people, worldwide, become happier as they age.
Some days it feels like I have awakened to discover that I am twenty years older than when I went to sleep. It feels like I should be able to file a complaint about this with some Universal Time Management Authority. I would then receive a response apologizing for this huge mistake, noting that those responsible for it are being disciplined, and promising that the next day, upon awakening, my “correct” position in time would be restored, that is, twenty years earlier. Sure, this is pure fantasy, but it is also how I feel sometimes. Not since I was in my late teens and wanting so very much to be 21 (then the legal age for being an ‘”adult” ) have I wanted so much to be an age different from my current one. And at least then, I could look forward to one day being the age to which I aspired. Now, wanting to be twenty years younger, I get further away from it with every day that passes. In the truly memorable words of Marjorie Bankson (in conversation), “Ageing sucks!” It is one of those things for which I should pray for the patience to accept, because I certainly can’t change it, but I can’t do that, at least not yet, because I do not actually want to accept it, even though I know I have no choice. The best I can do is to try to avoid slipping into denial about my ageing, and to take appropriate steps regarding my health and other matters, even as I indulge my back-to-the-past-fantasies.